“Hello, is this the Rev. Schmitt?
“It is.”
“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”
“I’ll try.”
“Do you know a David Anderson?”
“I do.”
“Is he a member of your congregation?”
“He is.”
“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”
“He will.”

Other than the method described in this joke from the Stewardship of Life Institute, why do we give and how do we decide the amount we give to our congregations?

This “why” question was asked of about two dozen active Episcopalians in congregations from Staten Island to Stone Ridge, Armonk to Woodstock. The answers generally fell within several categories, although I loved one answer more than any other: “Because God has given everything to me, and I would be a big tightwad if I didn’t give back.”

The most frequently given reason for making a financial gift to the church was our responsibility to support the congregation. Just like people in combat who talk about risking their lives to help their buddies, the relationships we have with each other seem to form the strongest motivation for sharing our possessions. Susan Fowler of Christ Church, Staten Island, said she and her husband give “because we feel that the rest of the congregation and the program recipients depend on all of us paying our pledges.”

Larry Borzumato of the Christ the King, Stone Ridge, referred to giving as “a reminder of the mutual commitment between the congregation and me,” which he said was “part of the striving for community that I believe is crucial to the Christian faith.”

A warden at St. Stephen’s, Armonk, Don Gregg, added another element to the idea of supporting one’s community. The congregation is “a central part of our Armonk life, and not to give generously to it would be unnatural,” he wrote. He added, “I want to support [the rector] Harry [Abernathy], whom I admire greatly.” The pastoral relationship between the clergy and individual parishioners can be a large part of the decision.

Helping others in need is another important reason people give to their churches. Commonly called outreach, people referred to the gospel admonition to feed, clothe, house and visit those in need. Like others, Diane Creston of St. Andrew’s, Hartsdale, said she gave because of outreach and would increase her support if there were “more outreach programs to help those less fortunate.”

Some people give because of thankfulness to God. Jim Forde of Good Shepherd, Bronx, gives “back to the church and community a part of one’s success and blessings.” Charlotte Wiggers expressed a profound gratitude to God and to the role St. Thomas, Manhattan, had in her coming back to Christ. Gypsy da Silva of Transfiguration, Manhattan, is thankful to God “because at that parish, my spiritual life was fed by the daily round of sacrament and prayer and deepened by opportunities for service.”

Another reason should be mentioned. Borzumato said supporting congregations is one way to connect “to the work of the parish,” and John Sullivan of Christ Church, Poughkeepsie, said it is “the most concrete way of affirming my faith that I know of.” Giving makes faith real.

How do people decide the amount? A few set a goal of tithing, others give a certain proportion of their income. But almost all said they talked about it with their spouse or partner. Rick Miners of Epiphany, Manhattan, said, “My wife and I discuss our charitable involvements.”

John and Maria Kapriellian of Good Shepherd, Granite Springs, summarized a lot of the results. “First, we really like our church and want to give it our support. Second, we realize that we are fortunate to have what we do and recognize that what we have all comes from God, and we want to give some of that back both in thanksgiving, and to help others who may not be as fortunate.”