Tis the season to feel pressure.

The combination of mass marketing, unrealistic expectations and narrow focus on a few frenzied hours on December 25 can be poisonous to children and adults. However, an antidote can be found in the church calendar. If you mark all or some of the saints days and folk celebrations coming up in the next five weeks, however simply, you will find yourself more centered on the coming of the Christ child and the acts of love and kindness done in his name.

Take the feast days of St. Stephen (December 26) and St. John (December 27). If you add them to your activities list, when the last scrap of wrapping paper settles to the floor on Christmas morning, there will still be several gifts under the tree and your kids will develop a new perspective on the season.
It works well for households with children and without.

“People are so stressed it’s past ridiculous,” says the Rev. Claire Woodley-Aitchison of St. Mary’s, Mohegan Lake, who since her days as an assistant at St. Barnabas, Irvington, has been urging parishioners to pile on the family feasts.

Celebrating the other feast days that suround Christmas can help you rediscover the reason for the season -- and fight the blues that creep in when you don’t have perfect cookies, clothes, presents, parties, decorations and dinners. And it helps avoid post-excess letdown.

If you’re overscheduled or overwhelmed, consider adding more festivities to your plans that will support your spiritual life instead of smothering it. Many people have family or ethnic Christmas traditions. Revive yours and borrow others, stripped down for meaning and ease of implementation. Here are some suggestions.

In the Episcopal liturgical calendar

Novenber 27 - December 18 – Advent
If you’re not already observing Advent, it’s not too late. Put an advent wreath on the table. Find a calendar for counting off the days. It gives children a hands-on way to participate in the period of anticipation before Christmas.

December 6: St. Nicholas of Myra
Remember the man whose charity and love for children formed the basis for the legend of Santa Claus – Nicholas, a fourth-century bishop in Asia Minor. The story goes that as a young man he threw a bag of gold coins through the window of a needy family one evening. Dutch children put their shoes out at night and find chocolate gold coins and a simple gift in the morning. The sight of single sneakers outside bedroom doors is funny. Try it.

December 26: St. Stephen
St. Stephen was the first Christian martyr. Think about courage and perseverance. Consider gifts that encourage a child’s skills, offer a safe way to take a risk or try something new. Sing “Good King Wenceslas.”

December 27: St. John
The feast of St. John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, is celebrated on this day. Give something homemade; a present commemorating a relationship; or a gift of some event or activity together. Forgive one another.

December 28: Holy Innocents
On this day, honor the children Herod killed and the mothers in their grief. Donate to a food pantry or women’s shelter. Help children who are victims of disaster, poverty or war.

January 6: Three Kings Day
The wise ones finally make it to the manger! The last gift under the tree can be opened. Epiphany is a good day to celebrate wisdom. For presents, think about books, puzzles, brain-power games, science kits or musical instruments.

Celebrations from around the world

December 12: Our Lady of Guadalupe
This feast day celebrating Jesus’s mother is a huge event in Mexico, where Our Lady of Guadalupe is the patron saint. She’s a symbol of hope to those awaiting the birth of her child. Try forcing bulbs or a branch of forsythia, or buy a poinsettia (of Mexican origin); legend has it that roses bloomed in December for the man who had the vision of La Morenita.

December 13: St. Lucia
Legends and traditions from Italy to Sweden associate St. Lucia with light and celebrate with food and traditional activities. She is the patron saint of sight and revered for ending a famine. On St. Lucy’s Day, turn off all the lights and eat dinner by candlelight. Anticipate the upcoming solstice when the days will lengthen once again.

December 16: Las Posadas
If your creche usually comes out with the Christmas decorations, consider anchoring it instead to the traditions of Latin America, where nativity scenes are important and elaborate. In Mexico, for example, Las Posadas is the start of a nine day festival leading up to Christmas that commemorates the efforts of Mary and Joseph to find shelter in Bethlehem. Put the figures of Mary and Joseph nearby and the three kings farther away. Move them toward the manger every day. Have southwestern food for dinner.

December 31: New Year’s Eve
Ring out the old and ring in the new. After listening to church bells at midnight New Year’s Eve, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote that line in “Ring Out Wild Bells.” Read or sing his poem; ring your own bells or just bang on some pans. Talk about your hopes for the coming year.